May 2007
Since I was 18, my body has been periodically attacked by gout. I was on and off of the medication the doctors prescribed. I “learned to live with it.” I sometimes would go several years between serious attacks, and then gout would come back and I'd have fairly frequent attacks. The doctors said that gout is not curable, only controllable with medication and diet.
Since learning the message of faith in the early 90's, I exercised my faith from time to time, yearning for God to deliver me from this disease. I didn't really understand how to stand in faith. I thought I was healed and then an attack would come back several months or a year later.
At some point, it finally dawned on me that I wasn't following through. In mid-2004, a guest minister was at church and I decided that I was going to get what I wanted from God. I focused on what God's Word said about my condition and His goodness and faithfulness. I went up for prayer and believed that God was going to heal me. I received prayer and didn't feel any different afterwards, but I believed. I didn't need to take the medication (allopurinol) the doctors said I would be on for the rest of my life.
I had freedom for probably about 6 months and an attack came back. I think it was around Christmas time. My wife, Lynne, noted that often it seems that gout came knocking when I was under emotional stress. That seemed to be one of the triggers.
The problem was that I didn't know how to stand against this new attack. I quickly turned to medication and forgot about God's Word. For the next six months or year I doubted that my healing was “real.” “How could it be real if I am still suffering?” I would ask myself. I didn't know how to fight.
I felt God was directing me to start a Bible correspondence course. I started it in September 2005. The first topic was Faith. There were five or so units in this theme. One wonderful side benefit of this home study was that it facilitated having a consistent quiet study time in the mornings.
The 30-minute, early morning “classes” initially were tough on me, getting out of bed at 5:15AM was not my idea of a good time! After a while, though, I would wake up just before my alarm with an eager anticipation of what God would teach me next! I couldn't wait to get downstairs and feed on Godly books about His Word and faith in Him and His promises. I felt God's pleasure in this. My spirit was more open to hearing God than ever before.
I was beginning to believe again that I could be healed of the incurable disease. Then just before Christmas 2005, a Big Attack.
This was probably the most severe attack I ever had. I had a hard time to even walk. It lasted for several weeks during the Christmas holidays. We drove nine hours to my parents to have a family Christmas. I managed somehow. I started taking the colchecine medication which usually was effective in diminishing the pain and swelling. This time there was hardly any effect.
I searched the Internet looking for herbal supplement and diet solutions. I sought God on the “why.” I sincerely wanted to have God's direction on what steps I needed to take. I felt like I had the OK to start a diet and herbal supplement program. In the natural, it sounded good, and promised results in 7-10 days.
I started this program in January 2006. The supplement and diet fulfilled their promise! I felt great. But then gout started cycling though my body, affecting one area then another. There were one or more days of “freedom” between the attacks. All this while, I was continuing my Bible study course and seeking God for answers.
One answer He gave me was to obey what He already told me to do. One specific instruction I knew was concerning diet. So I had no choice but to obey. I made the shift from “I am free in Christ Jesus” to “I have made myself a bond servant of Christ.” Rather than declare that I was free to do “whatever I want,” I declared “Yes, Lord, I will obey the voice of Your Spirit!”
I also went back to the doctor for a blood test and to seek his advice. He said I had to be on the allopurinol or I would live to regret it. The blood test showed that my body was out of control with uric acid.
February 1, 2006: God finally got my attention during my morning quite time with the challenge “Either you are healed, or you're not!” He took me back to my faith stand in 2004. I pondered this. I took a day or so before I could come to grips with that challenge. I finally had to admit that I had stopped believing and really didn't have any choice but to start believing again. A few days or a week later, out of my spirit came the faith declaration: “I don't care how long it takes, I will get my healing!” My head argued for a minute (“You know, the devil will hear you and then you'll be a target for sure!”). My spirit was ready, but my mind took a while to allow my mouth to say it. I said it with gusto and conviction! For the next couple of months gout tried to insist that it owned me, ricocheting from toe to ankle to knee to the other knee, to ankle, to toes, etc.
Aug 1, 2006: By this time, I was walking free of gout. I don't really know when all of the symptoms left, but I was doing great by late summer. We started planning for a special NY trip in mid-September. The thought came to me that I didn't want anything to come between me and the complete enjoyment of our trip (knowing how important this trip was to Lynne, and how I didn't want to disappoint her or her parents who were paying for a lot of it). So I said to myself, “Well, I should start taking allopurinol to be sure I'm in good shape for the trip.” I started taking the allopurinol which doesn't start taking effect for a number of days. It was also about this time that I was supposed to go in for a quarterly blood test I had committed to at the doctors visit in January. I went in on August 3rd. I didn't call in right away to get the test results back.
Aug 29, 2006: In the morning my right ankle was normal. By mid-day, it was starting to hurt a bit. By the time I left work, I could barely walk. I honestly considered calling the security folks to carry me out to my car. This attack made the Christmas 2005 Big Attack look like a stroll in the park. The next day I went to the doctor it was so painful. After a bunch of checking, x-rays and another blood test, the doctor couldn't say what it was. That blood test showed a uric acid level of 4-something. The blood test from the three weeks earlier test was a 6-something! (Seven or less is considered normal.) The first test was physical evidence that my physical body was manifesting the spiritual reality that I was healed. The second test was evidence that man's medicine was working too. I was having an attack for sure! It was a spiritual attack that my body was paying for. I didn't find out the reason why until almost nine months later. I did continue on the medication for a while more, and the NY trip went well. (Thank God for everlasting His mercy!)
Feb-March 2007: A year after I got back in faith, I was still having a lot of challenges. My right thumb started to become inflamed. I wanted relief. Not only did it hurt, it looked ugly. I was embarrassed. I figured I should put some kind of anti-inflammatory on it. I remembered some topical stuff we got in NY. I got it and put it on my thumb. All the while I was thinking about the topical stuff, I had a small voice telling me not to do it. I didn't listen. BIG mistake! My thumb almost doubled in size. It was so swollen that there weren't any wrinkles around the knuckle like you normally find. Hot, red, swollen.
I was now VERY self-conscious of my thumb and tried to hide it as much as possible. You know, keep it in my pocket, cover it with the fingers of my right hand, keep my hand out of the focal area of whoever I was talking to...
I wanted relief, I needed relief, I desperately longed for relief.
All this while I was still having my quiet time/study time. Under the direction of the Lord, I read less of the books and started reading more of the Bible. One Sunday morning I awoke earlier than usual and knew I needed extra quiet time. I went to my usual spot and asked God to help me with His Word. I was flipping through the New Testament and passed a section entitled “Instructions About Faith.” I flipped a few more pages when I was arrested by the Holy Spirit. “You need that!” “Yes, sir! I'll go back and read it!” Matthew 17:14-21. When I got to verse 21, the Lord spoke to my heart and spoke two things:
- I was dealing with unbelief, and
- I needed to get rid of it by fasting and praying.
I don't know when the last time was that I fasted. But I knew I had to be obedient. I started the fast instantly. I felt I needed to fast three days. Even though the next day, Monday, I got a free lunch at a department meeting I vowed to obey. (People at my table asked why I wasn't eating, I gave them enough of an answer to quiet their questions.) At the beginning of the third day, somehow I thought I had fasted enough. (Surely God didn't mean it when I thought He said three days!) Wrong! Another attack! I restarted on Thursday. But I had already arranged a breakfast time with my father-in-law that Saturday...surely God would understand if I broke fast! (Didn't I get it the first time?!) So finally I got it right the following week Wednesday through Friday.
All this time I was saying and praying, “Lord I need faith, I need to believe. I just have unbelief. I just need to get rid of this unbelief.” I even prayed as the father in Matthew 17 did, as recorded in Mark 9:24, “Lord I do believe, help my unbelief!”
After the fasting I was getting somewhat better, but still having a lot of attack. As we were getting ready for a Spring Break road trip to see my youngest sister in Nashville, my parents at their land in mid-western Tennessee, and then my other two sisters in Mississippi, I asked the Lord if He would allow me to take the colchecine medication which didn't address the blood uric acid level, but did address the swelling and pain. I felt like He would allow me to do that. So the trip started with minor pain and swelling in my left foot.
April 2-3, 2007: The first night at my sister's in Nashville, I was talking with my brother-in-law after dinner and we were sharing with each other what God was doing in our lives. I was explaining about this whole faith trip, this journey of healing, and all of the struggles I'd had. I spoke about that moment when the Lord caught me up short with the statement, “Either you are healed or you aren't!” In the past months, I had pushed that memory to a dark corner. While I was sitting there, the Lord brought it back to the light. During the night, in the early morning hours, I talked with God about the current circumstances and my state of believing. The Lord showed me how I was again walking in unbelief. I repented to God for this sin (yes, He identified it as sin). The Holy Spirit prompted me to choose belief and to declare “I believe.” I obeyed and declared it! I asked God to restore back to me that “feeling of faith” I had when I declared “I don't care how long it takes...” I AM HEALED, I WAS HEALED, I WILL REMAIN HEALED.
This latest unbelief started in August when I allowed fear to convince me I should start taking the allopurinol “just to be sure I didn't have any problems with gout during our NY trip.” The most ridiculous part of that is that I had a blood test all the while which was medical evidence of my spiritual blessing. It was physical proof of the spiritual reality. I really was already healed! However, stepping into fear and unbelief allowed the enemy access and I suffered on and off since that time until now. Today, that has all changed. I am taking back the ground I gave up. I will not sin by doubt and unbelief. I won't confess, “I just have unbelief.” Rather, I confess “I do believe. I am healed. My body is lining up with what God says about it.”
Recently, a friend gave me an article by Jerry Savelle which confirmed what I was beginning to pick up on, that I needed to spend more time praying (in my understanding as well as in the Spirit). That is where I will get the wisdom that God wants me to operate in. “Yes, Lord, I will obey.”
May 2007: Gout tried a comeback in April, but it didn't stand a chance. Getting rid of sin gave me protection! I still had to walk out my faith. But now my body is showing the reality that was established over 2000 years ago.
The Lord directed me to memorize Isaiah 53:4-5: 4 Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy]. 5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole. AMP
Obedience brings blessing. “Yes, Lord, I will obey.”
